A Year!

It's true, our baby is a year old, and we don't know whether to be super excited or cry that her babydom is coming to an end. It feels like just yesterday we were waiting for her to arrive and now she's destroying the house on a daily basis. In honor of the anniversary of her birth, I've decided to post her birth story. The events of that night mean a lot to me, and so I've decided to share. So here goes.....

I was 39 weeks. Ash and I had gone to bed, around 11:40 p.m. or so. I was having trouble getting comfortable and doing some tossing and turning. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions every night, so when I felt the first contraction at about 11:50, I figure I would have a few Braxton Hicks and then they would go away and I could go to sleep. But then another one came at 11:55, and then another at just after midnight and they were stronger than the Braxton Hicks on other nights. But I still wasn’t sure they were real contractions, so I started timing them. Like clockwork, they were coming every 5-7 minutes. Some would last 30 seconds, some a minute. Some were easy to get through, some felt like I had to concentrate on them.

At 12:30 a.m., I got out of bed to use the bathroom. As I was walking out of the bathroom after peeing, I felt a slight gush of liquid, and thought to myself, “did I just pee?”, and then it occurred to me that maybe it was my water breaking. I got back in bed, still contracting every 5 minutes or so. I had my phone with me (my handy Blackberry) and looked up the telling the difference between perhaps leaking urine or amniotic fluid. One website suggested lying down for 30 minutes or so, and then standing back up. It said that if upon standing, you feel another gush; it’s likely your water has broken. So I lay down for a half hour, still timing my contractions (listening to Ashton snoring). At 1a.m., I got back out of bed, and felt it, the tell tale gush of liquid. I knew then my water had broken and that I was definitely in labor. I walked over to Ashton’s side of the bed and nudged him. When he woke up and looked at me, I told him, “I’m having contractions and I think my water broke” and then I walked away, and back into the bathroom, to sit on the toilet to catch whatever fluid I might be leaking. I sat there for a few minutes, breathing through contractions, which had gotten noticeably stronger (I definitely needed to concentrate on just breathing through these contractions), but they were still sporadic in length. As I sat there, Ashton called out to me, “Jen, is everything ok?”

Ashton got out of bed and came to the bathroom, still a little fuzzy on what I had said to him. I told him I had been having contractions since we went to bed and that I was pretty sure my water had broken. He asked if we should call Dr. Jaffe and wake up my parents. I said yes to the first part, no to the second. Once we got Dr. Jaffe on the phone, he asked to talk to me. Asked about the color of the fluid I was leaking, asked how far apart my contractions were, and how strong they were. As I spoke to him, a lot more amniotic fluid leaked out (luckily into the toilet). Dr. Jaffe didn’t feel my contractions were regular or strong enough, and suggested I stay at home. He told me that I could go to the hospital if it would make me feel better, but that staying home might be better at this point. He suggested I get back in bed and try to rest. Ashton again asked if I wanted him to wake up my parents, and again I said no. We left the bathroom, and I put on a pair of sweat pants. What followed was a slightly comical situation in that halfway to the bed, there was another strong gush of fluid, all over the sweatpants and then onto a towel thrown on the floor. Once that was resolved, I got back into bed, trying to get comfortable, trying to relieve the contractions with some sort of position, but nothing was working. The contractions were definitely getting stronger, harder to get through, harder to concentrate on. I couldn’t get comfortable on the bed, no matter what position I was in, so decided to get into the shower. I was in the shower just a few minutes when Ashton said he was going to wake up my parents. Within a few minutes, my mother was in the bathroom with me, keeping me company while I got through each contraction. She timed them, occasionally mentioning that they were measuring about 3-4 minutes apart at that point. Ashton came and went, getting things together, emailing the school and calling the sub-service. Eventually I started to turn into a prune and got out, the contractions growing stronger and longer, still coming every 3-4 minutes. I got back into bed, but nothing was helping. I started to feel like being home wasn’t helping me, and said I wanted to go to the hospital. Ashton called Dr. Jaffe’s service back and let them know we were on our way to the hospital. It was 3 a.m.

The drive to the hospital was 20 minutes, and it was during the ride that I started to vocalize during my contractions to get through them (Ashton told me later that it sounded like I was either eating really good chocolate cake or…something else). My parents were in the back seat and Ash’s parents were meeting us at the hospital. Once at the hospital, I got changed, and it was confirmed that my water had broken. They put me on the monitor for 10-15 minutes to check my contractions and the baby’s heartbeat. I was never put back on the monitor again, the baby’s heartbeat was checked intermittently by Doppler, and I never had an IV. My contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes and I was 4 cm dilated. Although they were pretty similar in length, every once in a while, I had a short one that was easy to get through. I asked about getting into the birthing tub and was told they would like for me to wait until I was 5-6 cm. The nurse suggested I get on my feet, rather than staying in bed. So Ashton and I got up and walked the hallways for a little while. I was uncomfortable on my feet, having trouble concentrating on both the contractions and staying on my feet and asked to go back to the room. I got in the shower there too, but it was tight in the stall and too hard to find a position that was comfortable. I got back in bed and was sitting up ramrod straight; to me, it felt comfortable and helped me concentrate. The nurse encouraged me to change positions and suggested leaning over the back of the bed. It made the contractions stronger and longer and when I remarked on this, the nurse told me that was the point. She told me to try to do at least a few contractions in this position. I made it about ten minutes and then sat back on the bed. At some point I ate a banana that Ashton had brought me and some juice, and at some point I threw that up. I was immediately given more juice to drink by the nurse. I started to feel a little desperate. I hadn’t slept and was feeling worn out. I asked Ashton to get the nurse to tell her I wanted something for the pain (the interthecal). She came into the room and checked me and I was 7 cm or so, and then left again to get things set up. I vomited again, and then drank more juice. Shortly after, Dr. Jaffe came in, and checked me again, I was nearly 9. He said that getting the medication was my choice, but that I was very close and encouraged me to get into the tub instead of taking the medication. I agreed and walked into the tub. I immediately overheated. I lasted maybe 5 minutes before I demanded to be let out, but I had to wait until the water level fell enough. Inside of the tub was one of the two times I cursed during labor. At some point, I vomited a third time. I got back into the hospital room and put on a hospital gown. By this time, I was complete and it was too late for any medication. Dr. Jaffe came in and told me it was time to have a baby.

I pushed for two hours or so. Dr. Jaffe sat on the bed with me the entire time, with Ashton holding one foot and my mother the other foot. Nancy was near my head, wiping my forehead with a wet washcloth and giving me ice chips or letting me suck on the washcloth. My father stood like a statue underneath the clock in the room, Gerry came and went a few times. I remember Dr. Jaffe’s voice being calm and soothing throughout it all, and him massaging my foot in between contractions. I felt like I had control over my pushing, since it was up to me to tell everyone when another contraction was coming. There was never any counting to ten during pushing, and no one yelled at me to push harder or longer. They checked her heartbeat every few contractions with the Doppler. I pushed lying down on the bed, I pushed on the toilet, and I pushed kneeling on the bed. At some point I got very hot and tried to take the hospital gown off, but it had been tied at the neck and wouldn’t come off. Ashton said later that I was like the Hulk, as I swore for the second time and ripped the gown off of me, and Dr. Jaffe pulled it the rest of the way off (yup, I delivered nude). I do know I asked for a c-section at some point (I was denied). I remember asking when she would be here, and Dr. Jaffe having me stick my fingers inside to feel her head, as it was so close. Sometime shortly before 9 a.m., he told me that I would have a baby by 9:30. At some point, Gerry came back in the room for the big moment. I gave a bunch of hard pushes, felt the tell tale ring of fire, and her head was out (with her hand up near her face).

And then another hard push, and her one shoulder was out, and then the other, and then amazingly, I reached down and pulled her the rest of the way from my body and onto my chest. It was 9:32 a.m.

I never planned to have an unmedicated birth. I never thought that birth was or needed to be some life changing or amazing experience in and of itself. I thought it would simply be the vessel by which I became a mother. But I am grateful that things happened exactly as they did, because the things that in the end ended up having meaning to me were things that wouldn’t have happened if I had had pain medication or if I had had a c-section. I still don’t think that birth needs to be some profound experience, but for me it was and I wouldn’t change Maeve’s entry into this world for anything.